I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
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