Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
