508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
