come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
