Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just high enough for therapy.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
