She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Oh god it's open bar.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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