and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
