Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
