I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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