I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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