hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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