I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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