Pants 0. Shit 1.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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