I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
