Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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