She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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