At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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