This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
