I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
In other news, I just burned my penis
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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