And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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