bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
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I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think I sprained my soul last night
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
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Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize