It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
