I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Boobs speak an international language.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize