All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
