So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
