You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
