Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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