Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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