we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize