I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
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