called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
