Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
