I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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