Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Randomize
