doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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