Non-Jews are for practice
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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