You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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