how can u be prego again
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
