it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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