Small penises have feelings too.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
