i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
