I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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