Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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