dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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