i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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