News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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