So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
