Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
