After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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