He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I need to calm my uterus...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
