member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
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He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
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