we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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