I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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