Duck Duck Cougar?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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