her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
