We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
