this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
