the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
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My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
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I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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