FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
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Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
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Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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