similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
