I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
