We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
